What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
