i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
