Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She's the barista slut.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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