The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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