i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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