are you still at the devil's house?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
