just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
