She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
