he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So vagazzling was a success
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
