I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
