Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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