you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
