How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
