he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
