and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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