she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
