I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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