In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize