Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
