How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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