There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You can't special order awesome
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
