I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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