you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
