Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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