Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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