The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
