I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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