ugly people sure do ruin things
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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