maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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