he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
