bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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