Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
