So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
