I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
