She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
