you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
