i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
