I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
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