Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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