Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
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Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
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It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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