this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
