I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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