i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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