K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
