Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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