I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
