Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
