have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
