Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
