Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings