4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.