im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go