she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..