she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
