Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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