I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize