that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
