Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My ass is underappreciated
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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