she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
