Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
is that a dick in a sweater?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
