there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
