I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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