I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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